Part of Chapter 2 (part 2)

I practically ran so I wouldn’t keep anyone waiting. But when I came through the door and only seen Jake sitting there, I instantly felt insecure.
He looked at me with these strange eyes, and when I sat down he said what I thought would be rude of anyone to ask.
“So what happened to Travis?” as he sipped his beer.
My face went every shade of red and I felt stupid once again.
“I don’t know, he said that you were going to meet us here” and I rolled my eyes.
I didn’t mean to roll my eyes and I felt bad as soon as it happened. Though I found him to be rude, it was not like me to be that way.
“Well are you hungry” cold distance in his voice.
“Ya a little, you?” he looked very uncomfortable.
“Ya uh, maybe we should just go back” he said as he avoided eye contact.
That was it, my emotions were written all over my face. Angry, embarrassed, feeling stupid. I just took a deep breath and replied
“sure lets go” I surrendered.
I wasn’t going to be a waste of this guys time any longer.
As I started to get up he put his arm out to me
“Wait, wait” he said hailing the server.
"Una cerveza, por favor."
And the little Mexican server gave back a nod. I looked at him confused and sat a moment when the girl placed a beer in front of me.
“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just wasn’t sure if you still wanted to stay”
He saved the moment. My face came back to a normal colour and I didn’t feel so much like screaming anymore. I guess he thought since Travis wasn’t here I didn’t want to be either. But I did want to be there. Jake was this mystery that I did and didn’t want to figure out. Like always, my curiosity gets the best of me.

Part of chapter 2 'The Warmth of Mexico'

He was just starring off into space, someplace peaceful where his face made no expression. The only thing that moved was his hand lifting the beer to his mouth. I wondered what was going on in that head of his. So cold yet warm and loving was this mysterious boy. Travis of course had one eye on his at all times. Laughing at his own jokes with one slit second to look over at Jake. And then a re-assuring smile at me.
My lower back was getting sore from sitting in this one spot not moving like a zombie. Without trying to bring to much attention to myself I slipped out of my chair and put my arms behind my back to stretch. I pulled my hands down to pull on my shoulders, and moved my neck to each side.
As I adjusted my hair to a pony tail I looked around the bar. My stretch was successfully discreet to all as my eyes inspected the room, except to one. As I sat back down in my chair Jake was starring right at me. Still, no expression just the stoned look right into my eyes. I felt him everywhere, in the air in my skin, staring yet guarding.
My heart felt like it had been startled and jumped out of my chest. Those eyes so sexy and dangerous.

Do on to others....

Easter was a great success, my mother cooked a deliscious ham, onion baked potatoes, candy yams, and more! I love the way my mother is so fare to everyone, treating each person so respectivly. I wish my fiances family had that much respect for me. My mother really raises the bar.

My made up crush

It’s late and I can’t sleep. And I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking of him. The rebel in my novel has once again engulfed my brain and I can’t help feeling guilty when my fiancé is sick in the other room sleeping. This is crazy! My character only exists on paper but I am very close with him. After all I did create him. I guess when you spend so much of your time in your own make believe world it slowing becomes more interesting than reality.

He is everything perfect even his made up flaws. I almost have that feeling you get when you watch a good movie and fall in love with the actor. Now I am not saying that my novel is to be compared to a great film, but I enjoy it. And this new crush I have developed on my character is pretty neat. After all he is everything, I, like in men. I mean I did think him up and spend hours with him every night. Am I crazy, oh well, this novel will be hard to end.

To cook or not to cook? Is something burning??

I have decided that from now on Wednesdays will be my fun recipe day. Well I chose Wednesday to brake up the week but Fridays work too. Beside writing, cooking is my favourite pastime. So last Wednesday I made a prime rib roast baked in red wine (cheap stuff) with some onion, garlic and Applewood cheese. Now I think I was suppose to make a red wine reduction, but instead it came out as a red wine liquidy (is that a word?) sauce. I wasn’t that impressed but it was great over my roasted potatoes. Anything is good over potatoes.

Friday I went to my mothers house and hosted a dinner party. I always brag of my cooking skills so the deal was she buys the ingredients and I cook. It was soon to be my famous Jambalaya, but as all the ingredients simmered in the pan my rice, which I always make separate in the rice cooker, had gone soggy! Ugh. The salad was spinach leaves, dried cranberries, sun flower seeds, fresh black berries, finally balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Which was a big hit. My mom added some garlic/jalapeno French loaf and dinner was complete. Everything tasted great but the texture of the rice ruined the dinner in my opinion. My humble dinner party disagreed, how kind.

Two unimpressive meals in two weeks, its funny when you just throw dinner together all usually goes well and there are no complaints. And I’m not talking about children because they always have complaints. But I when I go out and buy the fresh ingredients and put out the effort isn’t funny how that’s when I fail. That’s ok I won’t give up. Next week I’m thinking maybe something totally new like a crab bisque? But I’ll get some inspiration off the cooking channel first.

Stay focused

Writing seems to be harder than I had ever imagined it to be. I have probably 8 chapters and they are all over the place. I seem to get writers block daily and when I finally do get my thoughts down I re read them and nothing seems good enough. Ugh well maybe I need to schedule an hour or two a day and make myself stay focused… we will see I guess.

Just Breathe...

Recently re-inspired by the movie The Bucket List, I have decided to face my fear and share my passion for writing. I have always enjoyed writing short stories and managed to get some positive feed back along the way.
However I am not so good at spelling, grammar, and the structure behind writing. To sum it up I am very much an amateur. Please be kind : )
I wanted to share some pieces of a story I am writing. I am still working out all the kinks but hasn’t been able to put it out of my head since I started. My characters are constantly hovering around my thoughts. I try to get it out on the computer but chapter 2 becomes 3, and 4 became 6. Maybe I’m in way over my head, but all I can say is sometimes the most fun I have is when I’m drifting back to my dream world creating and shaping my characters.

Preface

Everything happens for a reason. What is meant to be will be. You hear people say those sayings all the time but until your life has some unforeseen tragedy you never really think about what those words really mean.
Jake Mclaws was not suppose to be in my future, he was never even meant to enter my life, and if things had just happened slightly different he wouldn’t be.
And as much as I feel I hate him at times, he overwhelms my every thought. Strange unwelcome feelings take over me and I am sick to my stomach. So I feel desperate to know, if everything happens for a reason what is the purpose of Jake Mclaws? This feels like some kind of torture or sick jokes being played out by the gods.
He doesn’t make this easy for me, married at 25 and hopeless to make things right. I wish I could just forget the past and invite in this strange new begging.